


A Very Strange Reunion

by supernatural9917



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Dean is extremely overwhelmed, Discussion of Group Sex, Jack Kline Saves Castiel from the Empty, Jack Kline saves everybody from the Empty, Post-Canon Fix-It, because canon sucks, because if SPN can say fuck it to its own lore then so can I, discussion of polyamory, monsters who die in Purgatory go to the Empty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:29:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29737350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernatural9917/pseuds/supernatural9917
Summary: Cas arrives in an Empty that feels much less Empty than before. He catches up with some old friends, learns interesting things about Dean's romantic history, gets rescued by Jack and is propositioned for group sex. It's a weird day.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Crowley/self-respect, implied past meg/castiel, past Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester - Relationship, past Crowley/Dean Winchester - Relationship, proposition of Dean/Castiel/Benny/Meg
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66





	A Very Strange Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I'm supposed to be working on my Pinefest. I don't even know what this is. This was definitely a case of the characters running away with things. I blame Crowley.

He arrives awake and alone, Billie not appearing next to him as he'd expected. The second time around, the Empty is still just as dark as the first time, but it's nowhere near as quiet. Cas can't see anyone else clearly, but there are dark shapes moving around, seeming to bubble up and sink back down, and there's a humming background noise that doesn't stop. It makes him feel happy to know that this must be driving the entity crazy. 

He wanders for an unknowable amount of time, chasing the shapes but never reaching one in time to ask it what's going on. For all he knows, they're all just the entity moving around, teasing him. Last time it had taken the form of Meg, and he remembers the spike of joy he had felt on seeing her before realising that it was just a cruel joke. He wonders if he'll find her here; there would be worse ways to spend eternity than with an old friend.

After a while he stops walking, as it doesn't seem to be getting him anywhere anyway. He wonders if he'll be put to sleep eventually, or if the entity's torment will involve him being alone like this forever. There are certainly worse ways to be punished, but it's going to be a long and boring eternity if this keeps up.

He's just finishing that thought when he senses the darkness behind him coalesce into a shape, and a familiar but entirely unexpected voice speaks to him.

‘Well if it ain’t Hot Wings himself.’

Cas turns around and peers curiously at the owner of the voice. ‘I was wondering when you would come. Why have you taken the form of Benny Lafitte?’

‘The form of- oh, you think I’m…’ he waves his hand around to indicate the Empty. ‘Naw, I’m really me, fangs, fun and all.’ Cas still looks sceptical. ‘Remember how we wondered what happened to monsters who died in Purgatory? Well, this is it.’

‘It’s really you?’

‘In the- well, not  _ flesh _ exactly, but me.’

‘Benny,’ Cas says warmly, and to Benny’s great surprise, wraps him in a tight hug.

‘Howdy to you too, Cas,’ he says with a softer tone, returning the embrace. ‘Sorry to see you here though.’

‘It was inevitable,’ Cas shrugs. ‘But how are you awake?’

‘Yeah, kind of a weird one. A while back there was this big explosion, and suddenly we were all awake. The landlord has  _ not _ been happy about that,’ he chuckles. ‘It’s been runnin’ around tryin’ to get folks back to sleep, but we’re an ornery bunch.’

‘Indeed,’ Cas smiles. ‘That explosion was Jack.’

‘Who’s Jack?’

‘My son. Well, Lucifer’s son, technically, but Jack rejected him and chose me as his father. And Sam and Dean of course.’

‘Damn, how long I been gone?’ 

‘About seven years.’

‘A seven-year-old blew up the Empty?’

‘Oh no, Jack is only three, but he was born in an adult body.’

Benny shakes his head. ‘He what now?’

Cas smiles again. ‘It’s a long story.’

Benny spreads his arms wide. ‘Far as I can tell, we got eternity. When else we gonna tell long stories?’ He has a point, so Cas catches him up on everything he missed- Naomi, the trials, Metatron, the angels falling, the Mark of Cain, Dean becoming a demon and getting cured, Amara, Chuck, the British Men of Letters, Lucifer, Jack, Michael, and Chuck again, all culminating in Cas being taken by the Empty. He keeps some things to himself, of course; Benny doesn't need to know about the nature of his deal, or the speech he made to Dean to fulfil it. 

He's probably been talking for what on earth would be hours, punctuated only by Benny's questions and bewildered reactions. He even gets angry on Cas's behalf when he talks about how Dean kicked him out of the bunker because of Gadreel, and they commiserate together on the pain of being cast aside because of Sam. They're certainly the most egregious examples of the genre.

Benny doesn't have anywhere near as long a story to tell. After guiding Sam and Bobby to the portal, he'd fought off some vampires, but one ran off and brought a bigger pack for the next round. He'd died, ended up here, and woke up when Jack exploded. He's just been wandering too, trying to avoid the monsters he had previously killed in Purgatory and trying to figure out if there's a way out of this place. 

No luck so far.

'How did you find me anyway?' Cas finally asks, though the question has been on his mind since they started talking.

'Well, sounds like you're not technically dead, right? You just got sucked up here whole? So you're kinda like how you were in Purgatory- a beacon. I heard mutterings of this bright light, and lots of the others were afraid, but I figured, I've already died a bunch of times, what's it gonna do, kill me? Imagine my surprise to see my old trenchcoated buddy standing there.'

'We weren't exactly buddies,' Cas replies with an amused expression. 'I think we spent most of our acquaintance arguing.'

'Well, beggars can't be choosers in here, and I'd rather have you to talk to than nobody,' Benny teases. 'Besides, we ain't got Dean in here to fight over. Least not until he figures out a way to come and get you, and you can bet I'm gonna try to hitch a ride.'

Cas saddens. 'I don't think that will be happening.'

'Come on,' Benny scoffs. 'He spent months runnin' around Purgatory lookin' for you, refusin' to leave without you. Now he's out there, probably beating God, and you tell me he won't figure out a way to come for you next?'

'I have no doubt that he'll defeat Chuck, but I don't think he'll be in any hurry to come for me. He'll have his freedom, his life to live.'

Benny raises an eyebrow. 'Did y'all part on bad terms?'

'No, nothing like that. It would just be… awkward for both of us, I think. It's better this way, he shouldn't put himself in danger. I'm content with my sacrifice.'

'What ain't you tellin' me, Cas?' Cas doesn't reply right away, and Benny crosses his arms. 'Why would it be awkward?'

'I don't really want to talk about it.'

'Come on, Hot Wings, it can't be that embarrassing. What're we talkin', deathbed love confession?' Cas's head snaps up, startled at the accuracy of Benny's guess, and the vampire laughs. 'Knew it. Which one of you said it, then?'

'What do you mean? Of course I said it.'

Benny shrugs. 'I had it about fifty-fifty. Dean don't exactly talk about his feelings, but I wasn't sure if you'd ever even figure out what your feelings were, bein’ an angel and all.'

'I knew what I felt for Dean a long time ago, but I don't know what you would expect him to say. My love for him is unrequited.'

The look Benny gives him is akin to pity. 'Aw hell. You really believe that, don't you?'

'I have no reason to believe otherwise.'

Benny whistles. ‘I see the overall dumbassery levels ain’t gone down in seven years. You really tellin’ me you heard all his prayers every night in Purgatory and didn’t figure out he was in love with you?’

‘I… no, that isn’t… that was always how Dean prayed to me, after a while. That longing…’ Cas stops, looks at his hands, looks at Benny. ‘Then why…’

‘Uh, look, here’s the thing,’ Benny replies, suddenly awkward and shifty. ‘Dean grew up with a certain kinda view about manhood, right? And you’re, for all intents and purposes, a guy.’

‘I’m a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent, it’s only my vessel that’s a guy. If I had known that were the only problem, I would have changed vessels.’ Cas starts pacing. ‘I knew he was only attracted to females, but I didn’t think it would matter because it would still be  _ me _ , still just a brother to him.’

‘Yeah, see, the guy thing ain’t actually a problem. Well, not in the way you’re thinkin’ anyway. Dean’s into guys.’ 

‘How do you- oh. I see.’ 

‘It was a foxhole thing, ya know?’ Benny says. ‘Purgatory, the same rules didn’t apply. Needs were felt, needs were met. He was real clear that it wouldn’t be the like that topside, and once we found you it stopped.’ Benny scratches his head, rubs his beard, nervous tics indicating his discomfort with the situation. ‘He let slip that his dad wasn’t a fan of him liking guys too, so he didn’t let himself indulge normally.’

‘But he let himself indulge with you,’ Cas replied in an icy monotone.

‘Vamps don’t give a shit about human hang-ups, we fuck who we want when we want, and for the bad ones, regardless of whether the other people want it too.’ Benny put his hands up at Castiel’s smitey glare. ‘Not me. I used good old-fashioned seduction. You may not have noticed, but I’m a charming SOB.’

Cas has to huff a dry chuckle at that. ‘Why do you think I hated you so much?’

Benny throws back his head and laughs heartily before clapping Cas on the back. ‘And I hated you ‘cause you were a cockblock. Couldn’t get Dean to touch me once you were back in the picture.’

Cas shakes his head with a rueful smile. ‘I still don’t really understand. If he felt that way about me but wasn’t comfortable with admitting his sexuality on Earth- if he had asked me to change my vessel…’

‘That would’ve required Dean Winchester to realise you loved him, accept it, think he’s worthy of it, and then ask for somethin’ for himself,’ Benny said dryly.

‘I see your point.’ Cas fiddles with the edges of his coat and his tie as he thinks. ‘I was fully prepared to spend eternity in here, but I’m beginning to feel like… maybe I don’t want to.’

‘That’s the spirit, Hot Wings! You know how to get out?’

‘Well, last time I died, Jack woke me up and I just annoyed the entity so much that it let me go.’

‘Yeah, sounds like you,’ Benny teases.

‘I doubt it would work this time, especially since I’m not the only one awake now. I’m sure it will want its revenge for that.’

‘Guess we’ll have to wait for Dean to show up then. You think he’ll let me come too?’

Cas puts a hand on Benny’s shoulder. ‘I’m sure he will. He cares for you too, very much.’

Benny’s smile is sad. ‘Yeah, well, not quite how I’d want, but I’ll take what I can get.’

‘You loved him too.’ It’s a statement, not a question.

‘Oh bollocks, have I stumbled on the Dean Winchester Jilted Lovers Club?’ another voice complains before Benny can answer. 

‘Crowley?’ To the surprise of both of them, Cas closes the distance and throws his arms around the demon.

‘Well hello, Feathers. This is a warmer reception than I would have expected.’ Crowley pats Cas’s back until Cas steps back again.

‘Feathers, good one,’ Benny chuckles. ‘I still prefer Hot Wings though.’

‘Hot Wings! Delightful! Cas, you must introduce me to your handsome and clever friend.’

‘It would be entirely futile to ask you not to give me stupid nicknames, wouldn’t it?’

‘Entirely,’ Crowley agrees as Benny says, ‘You bet.’

Cas sighs and rolls his eyes. ‘Benny Lafitte, vampire, Fergus Macleod, aka Crowley, former King of Hell. Benny and I got Dean out of Purgatory together. Crowley and I opened the gates of Purgatory in the first place in a deeply misguided attempt to prevent Heaven from “rebooting” the apocalypse that the Winchesters prevented.’

‘Pleasure,’ Crowley extended his hand and Benny shook it. ‘So you’re the famous Benny. Dean told me so much about you.’ His eyes travel down to Benny’s crotch and back up to his face with a smirk. ‘Some very tall tales, or rather, some very long and thick tales.’

Benny’s eyebrows shoot up as Cas’s knit together in a frown. ‘That so?’ Benny asks carefully.

‘Ah, yes, what dear Castiel left out was that Dean and I had a very special bond for a while.  _ Very _ special.’

‘I mentioned that Dean was a demon for a few months,’ Cas explains. ‘Crowley was his… companion during that time.’

Crowley smirks at Cas’s obvious jealousy. ‘Companions, comrades, bedfellows. We did  _ extraordinary _ things to triplets. It was a good time.’

‘And yet he dropped you before he was even cured,’ Cas replied.

‘Yes, well. He’s always been a bit of a commitment-phobe, our Dean. Hence our little club.’ Crowley waves his hand to indicate the three of them. ‘Loving Dean Winchester and being cast aside by him, a tale as old as time.’

‘I wasn’t cast aside,’ Cas argues. ‘I sacrificed myself to save him.’

‘Didn’t we all?’ Crowley shrugs, and Cas can’t argue with that. ‘But don’t tell me you were never discarded before you did.’ Cas can’t argue with that either. ‘And now here we are, on the permanent discard pile. What a world, what a world.’ 

‘Thank you, Crowley, this has been truly inspirational,’ Cas says sarcastically. ‘Did you want anything else now that you’ve thoroughly depressed us?’

‘Oh, yes, I was wondering if you’d like to join my coup?’

‘Yer what now?’ Benny asks.

‘Crowley is constitutionally incapable of inhabiting a place without wanting to be king of it,’ Cas explains before turning back to Crowley. ‘What do you propose?’

‘I don’t have a specific plan yet  _ per se _ , but there seem to be a very large number of us and only one of that grumpy black lump, so I’m certain we can come up with something.’

‘I have a plan.’

The fourth voice is by far the most welcome to Cas’s ears. ‘Jack?’

‘Hello!’ Jack says, putting his hand up in his usual wave before rushing into Cas’s arms. ‘I missed you!’

‘Who’s the kid?’ Crowley asks Benny.

‘I think that’s Lucifer, Cas, Sam and Dean’s kid.’

‘Kinky.’

‘Hello,’ Jack says again. ‘You must be Fergus. Auntie Rowena told me all about you.’ That leaves Crowley speechless for possibly the first time ever. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are.’

‘Benny Lafitte, old buddy of Dean and Cas.’

‘Nice to meet you! I’m Jack!’

‘Jack, how are you here? Did you… are you…’ Cas chokes up, not wanting to say the words.

‘Oh, I’m not dead. I’m God now.’ His smile is as cheerful and innocent as ever. ‘We defeated Chuck and I took his power. He’s human now, which Dean says is very funny. Amara is part of me, and we’re going to fix some things.’

Cas throws his arms around Jack again. ‘I’m so proud of you. And are Sam and Dean OK?’

‘They’re fine. They have a dog now. Dean is home at the bunker, and he said Sam was with Eileen, hopefully giving it to her good.’ He leans in and whispers conspiratorially, ‘I think he meant sex.’

Cas chokes, Benny hides a laugh with a cough, and Crowley snorts before saying, ‘Delighted to hear the moose is finally allowing himself to be deflowered. Anyway, you mentioned a plan?’

‘Oh, yes! I’m going to take everyone out of here to help me rebuild Heaven.’

‘Jack, it isn’t just angels here. Crowley is a demon, and Benny is a vampire.’

‘I know, Cas. But demons and a lot of monsters were originally human souls. We can purify them and send them to Heaven, or if they can’t or don’t want to be, the monsters can be returned to Purgatory and the demons can return to Hell to serve under Auntie Rowena.’

‘I’m sorry, what?’ Crowley interrupts. ‘What do you mean serve under Auntie Rowena?’

‘She’s the queen of Hell now,’ Cas tells him. ‘She’s very good at it. I would have told you eventually,’ he defends himself against Crowley’s accusing glare.

‘What about Earth, little man?’ Benny asks.

‘What about it?’

‘Any chance of purified folks gettin’ a second chance there?’

‘That would be my preference as well. I can wait a while longer to be reunited with mother dearest,’ Crowley agrees.

Jack frowns. ‘I don’t know. I promised I wouldn’t interfere on Earth like Chuck did, and I think that would count as interference.’

‘Maybe they could be reborn,’ Cas suggests. ‘Reincarnation mechanisms already exist, but we could put the purified demons and monsters into the mix of souls for rebirth.’

‘Yes, that could work,’ Jack agrees thoughtfully. 

‘And maybe,’ Cas continues, seeing Benny and Crowley’s uncertain expressions, ‘a couple of interference exceptions could be made for good friends, one last time?’ Jack tilts his head in question. ‘We would never have gotten to this point without Benny and Crowley. A reward for their past help would be nice.’

‘Are you sure that would be OK?’

Cas shrugs. ‘I don’t know. As usual, we’re making it up as we go along. But I think Dean would approve.’

Jack nods decisively. ‘OK. Benny and Crowley can choose what they get to do.’

‘Earth,’ they both say, and Crowley adds, ‘as we are, or the human equivalent if we must.’ Jack nods again.

‘There is one other demon I would like to request an exemption for, if I may,’ Cas says. ‘Her name is… well, we knew her as Meg.’

Jack concentrates for a moment, getting an image of Meg in his mind from Cas. A lump of the blackness rises and forms a human shape.

‘Is that her?’ Jack asks.

‘Meg?’ Cas asks tentatively, mindful of the entity’s last form.

‘Clarence?’ Meg looks shocked and then sad. ‘Oh no. Did you bite it too? Let me guess- Winchesters?’

‘Leading cause of death for all supernatural creatures, friend or foe,’ Crowley says, and Meg whirls around with a scowl.

‘Crowley,’ she hisses, but Cas grabs her around the waist before she can attack him.

‘It’s OK, Meg, Crowley is a friend- well, an ally now.’

Meg melts into Cas’s embrace, running her hands along his lapels. ‘Well damn, Clarence, how long have I been gone?’

‘Many years,’ Cas says sadly.

‘Excuse me, miss, but his name is Castiel,’ Jack informs her, which makes the others smile.

‘It’s a little joke, Jack. There’s a movie with an angel named Clarence, and Meg has a quirky sense of humour.’

‘Look at you understanding that reference,’ Meg teases. ‘Does that mean you understand my other references now?’ She raises an eyebrow flirtatiously. 

‘I, um, yes, I do,’ Cas replies, flustered.

‘This little reunion is all very touching,‘ Crowley interrupts, ‘but should we be focusing on getting out of here?’

‘Of course. I’ll just go deal with the others and be right back.’ Jack disappears, leaving the strange group staring awkwardly at each other.

‘So who was that kid?’ Cas explains who Jack is, and Meg takes the news in her stride. ‘And who’s this?’ she asks, nodding at Benny.

‘Benny Lafitte, ma’am,’ Benny introduces himself, kissing her hand. ‘Soon to be ex-vampire.’

‘Nice to meet you,’ Meg purrs, and turns to Cas. ‘He’s invited to our pizza party, Clarence. How do you feel about moving furniture around, Benny?’

‘Please save your orgy planning for when I’m out of earshot, I beg you,’ Crowley grouses.

‘You’re just jealous that you’re  _ not _ invited,’ Meg snarks back.

‘Meg, I’m not sure that group sex-‘

Cas is interrupted by the reappearance of Jack. ‘All done! The angels are back in Heaven, the bad demons have been sent to Auntie Rowena, the bad monsters are back in Purgatory, and the rest have joined the reincarnation pool.’

Benny looks impressed. ‘That was fast.’

‘And the Empty?’ Cas asks.

‘I’ve promised to put it back to sleep on our way out, and to keep it that way for good.’

‘And me?’ 

‘You have a choice too. You can stay an angel and come help me in Heaven, or you can be human and go back to the bunker.’

‘I see.’

‘Dean gave me a message to help you decide.’

Cas takes a deep breath, preparing to be told that he should choose Heaven. ‘Yes?’

Jack clears his throat and frowns in his best Dean impression. ‘Listen here, you stupid son of a bitch. You can’t say all that shit and then just leave me forever, so you better get your feathery ass back here when Jack comes for you. We got a lot of wasted time to catch up on and I haven’t gotten laid in years, so hurry up and come back to me.’ Jack’s voice softens from the angry growl. ‘Come back to me, Cas, like you always do.’

Cas’s eyes swim with tears, his smile as wide and beatific as when he’d confessed his love to Dean.

‘Well I’ve been barking up the wrong tree, haven’t I?’ Meg says sardonically.

‘Like you didn’t know he was in love with Squirrel,’ Crowley jabs. ‘We all knew.’

‘Yeah, you didn’t know that?’ Benny adds.

‘I knew, I just figured Dean was a Ken doll from the waist down as much as from the waist up.’

‘Oh he definitely ain’t,’ Benny jokes.

‘All present and correct,’ Crowley agrees.

‘I rebuilt his genitals myself when I pulled him out of hell,’ Cas confirms.

‘Thank you boys, I was speaking metaphorically, but I’m glad to hear that you all have such intimate knowledge of Dean’s naughty parts.’

‘I don’t really want to hear about Dean’s genitals anymore,’ Jack complains. ‘Can we just go home now?’

‘Of course, please take us home, Jack.’

A gap opens in the blackness, and Jack indicates for them to step through. Cas goes first, and finds himself in the war room of the bunker, face to face with Dean.

‘Cas?’ he rasps, disbelieving.

‘Hello, Dean. Jack gave me your message.’

‘Cas,’ Dean sobs this time, pulling Cas into his arms and kissing him without a second thought. Cas reciprocates enthusiastically, gripping Dean increasingly tightly as Dean’s enthusiasm grows.

‘Get a room,’ Crowley shouts, and they jump apart.

Dean’s eyes widen as the rest of the group appears in the bunker. ‘What the fuck? Crowley? Meg?  _ Benny _ ?’

‘Jack!’ Jack finishes for him as he steps through the rift and closes it behind himself. ‘It worked, Dean!’

‘Yeah, it sure did, buddy,’ Dean says uncertainly.

‘Cas said these were your friends and you wouldn’t mind one last interference from me to bring them back.’ Jack looks hopefully between his two fathers, and Cas gives Dean a puppy dog expression that he has to have learned from Sam.

‘You did real good, kid,’ Dean agrees, pulling Jack into a hug and kissing the top of his head. ‘Thank you.’

‘I better go back to Heaven to get the angels organised and start the restructuring. It was nice to meet all of you, have a fun orgy!’ Jack waves and disappears while Dean is still spluttering and red-faced.

‘Why the hell does Jack know what an orgy is, and why does he think we’re having one?’ he demands when he can finally speak again.

‘Um, well, there were some references to the pizza man, and-‘ Cas begins, but Crowley rolls his eyes and cuts him off.

‘Allow me, Feathers. Darling Castiel knows you’ve fucked the vampire and me. Meg has always wanted to fuck Cas, and now also fancies some Cajun spice into the mix. Since we cleared up that you are in fact fully functional below the waist, I have no doubt she’d happily sample the merchandise on you as well. Jack recited your little speech in front of all of us, and we saw your beautiful face-sucking reunion a moment ago, so we’re now well aware that you plan to get touched by an ex-angel as soon as possible. I’m certain that if you want it to be a group project, Benny and Meg will be happy to assist. Personally, I’m staying as far away from this hot mess as I can get. We are never, ever, ever getting back together and other appropriate Tay-Tay lyrics here. Any questions?’

Dean stares at him open-mouthed and wide-eyed, while Cas blushes and Meg smirks.

‘So, nice bunker you got here,’ Benny says eventually to break the tension. 

Dean looks at him gratefully for the change of subject. ‘Yeah, uh, yeah, lemme show you guys around and get you set up in rooms if you wanna hang around.’

‘Thank you for my share of the favour, but I think I’ll take one of the Men of Letters’ nice bottles of single malt and one of those fancy cars in your garage and make my own way if it’s all the same to you.’

‘Uh, yeah. Yeah.’ Dean stares at him stupidly while he rifles through the liquor cabinet, finally coming up with something that meets his approval. They look at each other for a moment, and just before Crowley can turn around in a huff, Dean strides over and hugs him. ‘It’s good to see ya, man. Thanks for everything.’

Crowley’s eyebrows shoot up, but he lets himself hug back. ‘Good to see you too, Squirrel.’

Dean finally lets him go, and Crowley bids his farewell to his fellow former supernatural beings. He’s nearly through the door to the garage when Dean calls out, ‘Not the Impala! And call your mom!’

Crowley’s only reply is a middle finger held high.

‘I’m just gonna double check he doesn’t take the Impala.’ He runs out to the garage, and the awkward silence returns.

Meg is the first to speak. ‘I’m up for it if you guys are.’

‘Up for what, exactly, cher?’

‘The four of us. I mean, Dean may not exactly want to bump uglies with me, since I kinda murdered some of his friends a while back, but as long as he’s willing to share you and Clarence, I don’t mind.’

Benny laughs. ‘You suggestin’ some kinda hippie commune free love situation?’

‘I’m not the jealous type,’ she says with a shrug. ‘As long as my needs are met.’

‘Do I even wanna know what needs you’re talking about?’ Dean asks warily when he returns.

‘I take it Crowley left the Impala?’ Cas confirms.

‘Yeah, he decided to take the little red roadster. Said it was about time he had a midlife crisis.’ The corners of his lips twitch upward, but he still looks nervous. ‘So what’ve I missed?’

Meg and Benny look to Cas, who sighs. ‘Crowley’s summary was crude but mostly accurate. I’m aware that you and Benny have a history that you might want to revisit, Meg has carnal needs that she feels would be best met with multiple partners, and has a particular attachment to me that verges on romantic. You know exactly how I feel about you, and Jack implied that you also…’ He lets it hang, and Dean swallows hard before nodding. ‘So Meg was suggesting that we make the most of the situation with a polyamorous arrangement to everyone’s mutual satisfaction.’

‘So, you guys actually want orgies?’ Dean’s blush is bright and goes right down his neck.

‘It doesn’t have to be like that. It can be separate relationships each in their own time if that’s what you want,’ Cas corrects him.

‘Speak for yourself, I want orgies,’ Meg declares.

‘Wouldn’t say no to ‘em,’ Benny shrugs. 

‘Jesus,’ Dean groans, hiding his face in his hands. ‘Look people, I was barely holding it together waiting for Cas to get out and everything that came with that. I did  _ not _ expect to get propositioned with group sex by my dead ex-fuck buddy and my dead boyfriend’s dead ex-whatever after getting pre-emptively re-dumped by my other dead ex-fuck buddy, so could I maybe get some time to process?’

Cas smiles shyly at him. ‘Boyfriend?’

‘Jesus!’ Dean groans again. ‘OK, you two,’ he points at Benny and Meg, ‘bedrooms are down that hallway. Twenty-one, twenty-two and eleven are taken, otherwise take your pick.’

‘Isn’t fifteen also taken?’ Cas asks.

‘Nope.’ He grabs Cas’s hand. ‘You are comin’ with me. We’ll regroup tomorrow.’ Without another word, he pulls Cas down the hallway he indicated with single-minded purpose and great speed.

‘So, just you and me,’ Meg says to Benny. 

‘Just you and me.’

‘Been a while since I was human,’ she muses. 

‘Me too.’

She eyes him up and down. ‘Wonder what this body can do.’

‘Only one way to find out.’ Benny picks Meg up in a bridal carry as if she weighs nothing, making her shriek with laughter. ‘What was it you were sayin’ about needs?’

**********

‘Wow,’ Dean says for the fourth time between ragged breaths.

‘Yes,’ Cas agrees again. ‘Very.’

‘Didn’t realise you could bend that way.’

‘I surprised myself as well.’

‘I’m glad you’re back, Cas.’

Cas pulls Dean fully into his arms. ‘I’m glad to be back. I’m sorry it was so, um, hectic before.’

‘Yeah, that’s one word for it,’ Dean chuckles. ‘Listen, if you want to have something with Meg… I know you guys were close before and had some kinda thing going, so… I guess as long as you still want me too…’ He leaves it hanging, not quite able to voice the permission he’s implying.

Instead of answering that question, Cas asks, ‘What about you and Benny? Would you like to rekindle that relationship?’

‘If you want us to do the open thing, then we-‘

‘That wasn’t my question, Dean.’

Dean sighs. ‘I only need you, Cas.’

‘I only need you too, Dean.’

‘Good. Good.’ Dean cuddles closer into him. ‘Did I ever tell you about that time Zachariah sent me into the future to get me to say yes to Michael?’

‘It’s more likely that he created an artificial pocket universe like the one Gabriel created in TV land rather than a real future.’

‘Well, whatever it was, you were some kind of drugged out hippie guru who had orgies all the time.’

‘So you thought this was something I would really want?’

‘I didn’t know.’

Cas turns onto his side so he can look in Dean’s eyes. ‘All I’ve ever wanted, really wanted for myself, is you. If you wanted to do those things I would just to make you happy, but I don’t need or want them for myself.’

‘That’s kinda fucked up, Cas. You shouldn’t make yourself do kinky shit you don’t want just because you think I want to.’

‘I think compared to nearly destroying Heaven and the world multiple times for your sake, doing a bit of kinky shit wouldn’t be much of a hardship.’

Dean laughs again and kisses him. ‘Luckily not an issue. The only kinky shit I wanna do is just with you.’

‘I’m very interested to hear more about this particular type of kinky shit,’ Cas assures him.

‘Meg and Benny’ll be disappointed,’ Dean smirks.

As if one cue, a high-pitched wail echoes down the hallway, accompanied by rhythmic squeaking and the thudding sound of solid wood against brick.

‘Something tells me they’ll be fine.’

**Author's Note:**

> So this kind of started out as a conversation between Cas and Benny in the Empty, because I decided that monsters who die in Purgatory should go to the Empty and that Benny should also get rescued when Jack pulls Cas out of there. Obviously Benny knows that Dean loves Cas, so they would talk about that, and obviously it would come out that Dean and Benny had a thing. I originally had an inkling that this might become a Destiny fic, then suddenly Crowley has to turn up to remind everyone that he and Dean also fucked, becaue all supernatural dudes eventually fall in love with Dean. But since they were all getting rescued, I didn't think Cas would leave Meg behind, and lets face it, Meg is definitely going to like Benny because look at him, so suddenly we've got this situation and I don't know, it turned into some kind of crack where everyone wants to bang in some configuration, except Crowley, who isn't a dumbass and will use his second chance at life to get as far as the hell he can away from the Winchesters and spend it with a little thing he likes to call self-respect. I'm just as confused as Dean, to be honest.


End file.
